It is an advert, I know, and clearly pandering to a certain demographic. But nevertheless, I like the message in it. It doesn't matter who you love, I don't think it even matters how you love (with the normal proviso of doing no harm), it is the act of loving another that brings happiness into our lives. Others do not get to define us, nor do they determine what is the correct way of going about finding happiness in our lives. that is for individuals to discover. Life is indeed too short!
Can one person turn another gay? Clearly not, sexuality is not a choice. However, attraction to an individual of the opposite gender are normally attracted to may well enable you to recognise a more fluid sexuality than you had previously supposed. I always thought I was heterosexual and intensely disliked any contact with other women. It wasn't until I finally dealt with 25 year old issues stemming from childhood sexual abuse at the hands of another female and subsequently encountered women in a more gender fluid environment that I was able to allow my bisexuality to be expressed. I became very close to and fell in love with another woman, but circumstances were such that we didn't enter into a relationship.
I only encountered the internet hype about Ruby Rose this morning. I didn't know who she was and looked into her background a bit. She is stunning, lesbian and has done this lovely and very sexy video about gender fluidity. I thought you might enjoy!
Anything you put on the internet gets used against you and people will try to destroy you for no reason. Be warned! Funny video. :)
I came across an article today about a woman realising she had been verbally abusing her husband for some time and, following this realisation, making the effort to stop. The article is here and it is something that more people should recognise.
Both women and men do this to their partners, regardless of gender. I know that I experienced it at the hands of my ex husband, and as a result of the constant barrage of criticism became severely depressed and eventually suicidal. My partner also experienced the same form of abuse from his ex. The trouble is, unless the abuser recognises what they are doing and makes the effort stop and try to improve the relationship, the harm from this type of abuse continues long after the relationship is forgotten about. It is not only romantic relationships where this happens. Parents can do this to their children, siblings to each other. On reflection, I now see some of my parents behaviour was fairly harmful, especially the emotional manipulation and threats my mother used to use on me.
If emotional is happening to you, what can you do? I always think communication is the key and the first thing to do. If the person will not or cannot listen to you, then try to get friends and/or family involved to help mediate or even help you communicate to the person doing this. I am sure in my case, my ex simply did not recognise what he was doing. My friends intervened in my case, although on reflection it was too late and when it crossed the line to physical abuse I made the decision to leave. And I think that if talking and trying to sort things out doesn't help or the person won't listen, you need to consider the boundaries of the relationship. I left my ex. I could not leave my mother, obviously, and our relationship has changed significantly due to her current illness so that type of problem resolved itself. the most important thing, I think, is to look out for yourself. We each need to be responsible for our own lives. We cannot control the actions of others. We need to weigh up the importance of the relationship and both the positive and negative aspects of it. Friends of mine always likened this to a bank account. All the good stuff in the relationship is the credit, with extra deposits being made periodically in the form of treats and having something nice done to you etc. Withdrawal are also made, when things are not going as well as they should be or when you have to carry the responsibility of the relationship on your own for a while. In healthy relationships the account will always have some credit in it. In unhealthy relationships you will rapidly get into debt and will need to reassess the terms of the relationship.
I think some people are very quick to cry abuse falsely, and others to not recognise it for what it is until too late. No one can know more about your relationship and how it makes you feel than you. Seek help when you need it and ,at the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to treat each other, and yourself, kindly. There is no point making yourself and everyone else around you miserable by focusing on the small things that really, in the wider scheme of things, do not matter.
Can you heal from it? Yes. Like everything, it takes work, but it is possible.
I really liked the original version but this ties in nicely with the new season Game of Thrones fever.
Anita Sarkeesian highlighting what it is to be an outspoken women online. Misogyny is rife and I suspect the anonymity of the internet contributes to the negative manner in which people communicate with one another. And it is not only men who think that as a woman you should not be expressing your opinion. especially if it has anything to do with sexuality or alternative lifestyles. You are deemed "immoral" or "depraved" for being human, honest and responsible for educating others about what it is like and how to be safe and empowered. This blog was used against my partner in court. It is this type of thing that stops more people and women being vocal. I don't have the time or the energy to deal with all of the hate that individuals such as Anita have to deal with on a daily basis, neither do I have the desire to do so. I admire those who can.
What is the best method for working out what is the truth about the world? Different people come up different answers about this one and this influences decision making. I used to depend on my feelings a lot more, trusting that God knew best. I grew out of that fantasy. It was based on feelings, hope and childhood indoctrination, not any form of tangible knowledge. I try to live my life based on looking at the world through a rational lens and use that to inform my actions. I don't always succeed, emotions can both keep me on course or distract me totally. Stress has a negative impact on my thoughts and emotions also. But this happens a relatively small fraction of the time and rarely influences my actions. This British Humanist Association video highlights certain ways of thinking and informing ourselves about the world that are more likely to reveal the truth of our universe and lives.
Richard Dawkins reads out some of his "love letters". He seems to be ok with the vitriol thrown at him. While I know that other's opinions do not matter and should not influence how I see myself, nevertheless, there are times that i find mind self to be more vulnerable than others. I think my currentl levels of stress have something to do with that. Anyway, this video made me smile. A tiny proportion of fundamentalists do this type of thing yet it does point to something going wrong with how their "loving" religion has been interpreted.
I love the look of this video. Beautifully done! The music is not quite to my taste but the lyrics are interesting. What appeals to me most is how the prosthetic in this video is striking and iconic. A good watch if you want a different perception on disability.
Skeptical kinkster musing on whatever takes my fancy!