Newspapers and media outlets have a really irritating habit of defining people by their personal relationships to others, and this is never more apparent when they speak of professional women. A good example of that was brought to my attention today, Margaret Archer, a female professor and the most senior female in the Vatican has the headline refer to her as "grandmother".
Why is the media so focused on a woman's ability to generate progeny? Woman from all walks of life can and do plenty of things apart from reproduce and maintain a family life. Last year there was controversy about how Yvonne Brill's obituary seemed to place the emphasis on her role in family life rather than the amazing work she did in rocket science.
It seems to happen all too often for women and I have encountered it throughout my life. When the topic of jobs comes up during a social occasion and meeting new people (the exception being at a conference, but then we ask about research and not what we do for a living) the most common response is surprise ("you don't look like a scientist") and asking me to repeat what I just said.
Define the individual and their accomplishments, not their socially acceptable "role" with respect to other people.
Also, this debate has completely gone off track from the subject being tackled, upholding the rights of those who have been enslaved and abused. I don't care whether she is working for the pope or not, whether she is a mother, daughter, grandmother, cousin etc. it is an issue that needs more focus and hopefully it is her professionalism that will help her to get the work done.
I can't even begin to express my annoyance and upset adequately, all due to the petty mindedness of a certain individual. My partner is being manipulated by his ex, threatened with the loss of his daughters if he doesn't stop seeing me.
It has not been made clear why I am a problem, I can only speculate. Could it be because I am an atheist, after all, atheists are known to be the fount of all evil (/sarcasm)? Perhaps because I am a skeptic or a scientist or a kinkster or because I have hazel eyes and long hair? Perhaps because I am open about my bisexuality and all of the above? Maybe it is because I have done some funny, kinky, educational videos? Perhaps it is because I do not want children of my own. Whatever the reason, none of them say anything about how I interact with people or the direction of my moral compass. Neither are any of them legal grounds to dictate whether I am a risk or not.
I rather think that the real reason has nothing to do with all/any of the above, even if any of them are cited as the reason. I suspect it has more to do with the fact that he is happy and no longer under her control. The children are the final thing she can use to hurt him.
I can't speak about what went on in their relationship, I was not there and all stories are by nature one-sided. I also do not know the individual personally, having only met her once, briefly. I know from my own experience that abusive relationships often have a strong emotionally manipulative component to them. My Ex used it quite successfully to turn several of my family members away from me when I finally came to my senses and told him I wanted a divorce. He resorted to some nasty tactics and still does to some extent. I am very thankful that we did not have children as I am sure he would have used them against me. I am not sure wounds from that relationship will ever heal completely. They are extremely sensitive and break open again with the slightest of prodding. For example, I find myself getting anxious when I cut my hair or do anything to change my appearance, because that was not permitted with my ex and would always result in heavy criticism. I was made to feel that I was always in the wrong, no matter what.
But bullies are not in the right. And while they can hurt us briefly, we, the victims, get stronger each time we can move past it. We learn from the experience. We get to know what our rights are. I don't know what is going to happen in our current situation but I do know one thing. I will not lie down and be walked over by a bully again. I will not be manipulated into thinking there is something wrong with me because another person dictates that it is so, because my views differ from theirs. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I stand for and I will never be ashamed of myself because of a bully again.
A wholesome message was part of an advertising campaign for Honey maid. The video features families and includes a gay couple and an interracial couple. It also includes heterosexual families, white families, black families etc. Just normal diversity that occurs everyday.
The video resulted in many negative comments and nasty feedback from narrow minded individuals that seem to think everyone should behave according to their own beliefs and opinions. You know what? We don't. And, more to the point, the human population doesn't conform to that type of individualistic bigotry. The diversity you see in this video is pretty much the diversity you find in a normal western society, full of variety but with the same common theme. People loving one another. In the end, love is probably one of the most fundamental parts about being human. Providing all parties consent it really doesn't matter how that love is shared.
There was a response to the negativity, shown in the video below. One day, tolerance will win out over intolerance. It is already starting.
Skeptical kinkster musing on whatever takes my fancy!