I can't even begin to express my annoyance and upset adequately, all due to the petty mindedness of a certain individual. My partner is being manipulated by his ex, threatened with the loss of his daughters if he doesn't stop seeing me.
It has not been made clear why I am a problem, I can only speculate. Could it be because I am an atheist, after all, atheists are known to be the fount of all evil (/sarcasm)? Perhaps because I am a skeptic or a scientist or a kinkster or because I have hazel eyes and long hair? Perhaps because I am open about my bisexuality and all of the above? Maybe it is because I have done some funny, kinky, educational videos? Perhaps it is because I do not want children of my own. Whatever the reason, none of them say anything about how I interact with people or the direction of my moral compass. Neither are any of them legal grounds to dictate whether I am a risk or not.
I rather think that the real reason has nothing to do with all/any of the above, even if any of them are cited as the reason. I suspect it has more to do with the fact that he is happy and no longer under her control. The children are the final thing she can use to hurt him.
I can't speak about what went on in their relationship, I was not there and all stories are by nature one-sided. I also do not know the individual personally, having only met her once, briefly. I know from my own experience that abusive relationships often have a strong emotionally manipulative component to them. My Ex used it quite successfully to turn several of my family members away from me when I finally came to my senses and told him I wanted a divorce. He resorted to some nasty tactics and still does to some extent. I am very thankful that we did not have children as I am sure he would have used them against me. I am not sure wounds from that relationship will ever heal completely. They are extremely sensitive and break open again with the slightest of prodding. For example, I find myself getting anxious when I cut my hair or do anything to change my appearance, because that was not permitted with my ex and would always result in heavy criticism. I was made to feel that I was always in the wrong, no matter what.
But bullies are not in the right. And while they can hurt us briefly, we, the victims, get stronger each time we can move past it. We learn from the experience. We get to know what our rights are. I don't know what is going to happen in our current situation but I do know one thing. I will not lie down and be walked over by a bully again. I will not be manipulated into thinking there is something wrong with me because another person dictates that it is so, because my views differ from theirs. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I stand for and I will never be ashamed of myself because of a bully again.
This video is really well done and worth a watch. I have experienced almost everything shown in this film, except I didn't go to the police. I found it quite moving. People will probably not appreciate this on Valentine's day but perhaps it is one of the better days to promote awareness of how we treat each other.
The following 15 minute video tells the story of child brides, featuring one girl in particular. I was struck by her frankness and courage and wanted to share her story.
A comment on my previous post about the book Fifty Shades of Grey and its two sequels pointed me to Jennifer Armintrout's blog. Not only is there a humorous chapter by chapter take on the first book but also how the relationship crosses the line into being abusive. This blog entry is particularly good.
I see "red flags" being spoken about on numerous internet forums, especially the BDSM ones I frequent. Often these red flags are simply different perspectives into what actions they would and would not find acceptable in a partner (i.e. He didn't answer the phone on the single occasion I called it in the evening... it must mean he is married... RED FLAG!!) and rarely are they applicable across the broad spectrum of individuals involved in BDSM. The post I have linked to, however, is different as it focuses not on the actions of the other party, which almost always is open to interpretation, but on how the relationship and partner makes you feel. A good post and worth checking out. Especially if you are one of those who enjoyed the Fifty Shades books and desire that type of relationship.
If a relationship isn't a positive part of your life, if it causes more pain (in the non-consensual/emotional way) than happiness, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate that relationship.
This is the full article.
The case is that a woman ended up murdering one of her children and subjecting others to abuse as the result of a fervent religious belief that has been taken to the point of delusion. This is the problem with religious belief. it is accepted in society. No matter how wacky, if it is part of the major religions it will find some level of acceptance, tolerance and, in some cases, support. So when does it cross the line? When does simple cognitive dissonance (which does not cause harm to anyone beyond the person engaging in it) become delusional to the point at which adhering to a faith becomes more important than reality? Blind faith is dangerous and the only recourse I can see is education and broadening one's horizons. Unfortunately, it seems that not many people have access to or drive to do this, while at the same time faith-based delusion is encouraged.
Skeptical kinkster musing on whatever takes my fancy!