A BBC news article caught my eye today asking the question about whether you can be happy in an open marriage? It was not the article that caught my eye in particular. but more the comments sections and the range of opinions people held. In particular, there is a persistent view that polygamy is just another form of cheating on your spouse.
Polygamy and open relationships are not for everyone and a key part of their success seems, in my opinion, to be based on how honest people are with themselves in the first instance and determining what they are seeking from within and outside of their relationships.
I used to think that I wanted a monogamous relationship and I had a very good one for many years with no temptations to stray outside of our marriage on either side. When that relationship ended I began to explore other forms of relationships and their dynamics. It wasn't until 3 1/2 years ago when I met my current partner, "S", that my perception on monogamy began to change.
Each couple is different and I can only speak for myself and my partners. It is not about having your cake and eating it. For me, it is about full-filling the different areas of my life that I need to have filled in order to be happy. S and I make a very good couple and we compliment each other in many ways. However, as with a lot of couples, there are incompatibilities. I often need and want things he cannot provide and vice versa. For that reason we have other partners in our lives that meet those needs and as a whole it makes all of us much happier than had we either been monogamous or not formed a relationship at all.
All my partners are important. My relationship with one partner does not need to interfere with the relationship I have to another partner. They are separate entities. They do not compete. Much like my friendships, and in many ways my long term friendships are as equally important to me as my partnerships.
So, in answer to the question posed by the article, for me, yes, I am happy in an open relationship and a happier person overall as a result.
Skeptical kinkster musing on whatever takes my fancy!